She turned four mid this month, and her “I’m in four now” like it’s a game level or something has often found its way in our convos as she tries to prove she can do things on her own. Ironically, the more she does, the more she realizes she’s not yet that independent. One of my favorite moments was when she insisted to jump off the platform that was around 2ft high without me holding her hand only to fall on her knees. She got up quietly and we held each of her hands quietly. Then, she admits with a smile, “Anne, I thought I can do it on my own but I was wrong.” I looked at Mustafa and I knew our same smiles reflected the same thoughts.
Like a game, there are indeed things that kind of levelled up for us in the patience area. While she insists she can do things on her own, her attachment to us that was so present during her first year has somewhat reappeared–not wanting to be alone in the kitchen, checking on me or what I’m doing when I haven’t returned to the room, standing right in front of the bathroom door waiting for me to come out, etcetera etcetera. I lost patience just this morning because she was all fussy and still wanted me to be in the kitchen with her though I had everything prepared–mind you, we haven’t slept since 5am and I can tell you that while her peers would be waking up at 10, 11 or 12, she was on her usual early bird mode, lol! It is a good thing because it’s good training for her to wake up for fajr, but honestly, it’s not always the best thing for migraine-prone sleepyhead me. We talked about what happened over lunch like we were two grownup bffs, and she said she’ll try to work on it. For my part, I did apologize for snapping, to which she replied, “No need to say sorry, anne.” (Darn, that was a four year old’s unintentional guilt trip for me right there! lol)
However, if there was something she’s truly good at at this stage, it would be knowing when anne is really, really sick. Migraines are a killer, but I would have to say we’re blessed to have this little one who stays beside me as I sleep or rest, just playing with her toys, turning the TV on and off (funny how she tells herself too much of it won’t be good for her eyes), and reciting some short chapters of the Qur’an for me. MashaAllah subhanaAllah. Alhamdulillah we’re also at this stage where she can get food on her own from the fridge or cabinet, or go to the toilet by herself. She did cry though when we had this trip to the hospital for my MRI, but Alhamdulillah it’s training her to get in touch with her emotions. And, Alhamdulillah Mustafa was there to comfort and reassure her. Now, she even has an idea how an MRI works. Illness has a way of making us all grow and connect more, Alhamdulillah.
We’re in four, mashaAllah Alhamdulillah. Time flies fast. And, it also makes me realize even more that it’s not just her who has this attachment challenge. Harhar.
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ اَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وََّاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Our Lord! Grant us from among our spouses and offspring, comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteousness. – Noble Qur’an, Al-Furqan:74
Ameen.
HeartWork by Jane 