Tag Archives: Islam
Yes, it’s women’s month, and last 8th was International Women’s Day.
I am a Muslim woman in a predominantly non-Muslim country. I am a Muslim woman married to a man who, although a Muslim as well (Alhamdulillah for that), comes from a different culture. I am a Muslimom–in progress, mind you. I am a daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, niece, friend, student, and so much more. I am a woman–a Muslim woman.
Why do I often add ‘Muslim’, you ask. I can’t help but smile…
Isn’t it funny that we got to a point where we observe or celebrate such days? If you ask me, everyday is women’s day or men’s day or grandparents’ day…yes, everyday. Why did we get here? How did we get here?
Reality bites. Eyes are blind. Minds have numbed. Hearts are still muted. Spirits…worn out. There goes another walking wounded.
There’s so much confusion and chaos in the world that we’ve forgotten what it means to be humane. There’s so much violence…so much abuse that sometimes–or is it often?–one of us whispers it’s no use.
I am a woman. And, to make it more complicated, a Muslim woman in a predominantly non-Muslim society. Yes, I’ve been called a terrorist. Yes, I’ve been asked to remove my headscarf. And, yes, media often portrays me as oppressed. (No, I will not say they are completely wrong because a lack of true understanding of Islam among some of us who call themselves Muslims do exist–leading to prejudice, discrimination and yes, more specifically, oppression. Yes, they are not completely wrong but they often just highlight, even sensationalize, abuses. Abuses that happen even among non-Muslims, right?)
And if that wasn’t enough, the pull on the other side wants to ’empower’ me by inviting me to join the age-old “battle of the sexes”–there’s nothing a man can do that we women can’t…we are the greater of the two. Feminism that has forgotten beautiful complementarity.
I am a Muslim woman married to a man who, although a Muslim as well (Alhamdulillah for that), comes from a different culture. And, accomplished as I am in my chosen field, I just have to say I am truly fascinated how empowered the women from my husband’s circle are. I love to call them the Ottoman women–beautifully confident and empowered, ma shaa ALLAH. Home management to the next level, indeed. No sitters, no playschool drop offs, no househelp–yet still make great meals, not to mention sweets like baklava! More importantly, however, I realized there’s this difference from our cultures that one should take note–men didn’t mind helping out and were groomed to help out whenever they can. Men tried their best to earn a living so their queens could stay home and manage home affairs without having to worry about finances. My first trip to the pazar had me seeing an almost all-men fruit-and-vegetable market. Most of the wives and moms were there only to decide what to buy, but the carrying and all were done by men. I am reminded of how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) helped out his wives and spent time with his children. Secretly, I realized how in my country, the marketing and the chores were almost always all given to women that some men don’t even know what a certain vegetable is or if the chicken is expensive or not. What happened? Why have we allowed our boys to stay as boys? (And, this is so accepted in my society that even most of the women allow it to happen)
Yes, women in my husband’s circle are probably not the type who would often meet up and discuss social issues (the world’s problems and how we can solve them, harhar)–admittedly, it was something I missed a lot especially during bouts of homesickness; but, they do support noble social projects and can be as socially conscious as my girl friends. I noticed, however, that it’s the main role they played that their networks appreciated and supported so much–i.e, their role as home managers. Noble role, indeed, and it was a career (that, technically and legally in our society, is not considered a profession or career and has no financial compensation) that they passionately pursued–for the sake of Allah. Ma shaa ALLAH. I was fascinated with these Ottoman ladies but, admittedly, also pressured that it will take years for me to even be half as good or half as fast as them in performing certain tasks. Alhamdulillah, my husband reminds me I need not be like them. I simply have to confidently be the best me I can be. Still, having ladies to inspire me helps and makes me remember how Muslim women managed homes especially during the time of the Prophet (pbuh). I pray I can perform this role to the best that I can, in shaa ALLAH.
I am a Muslimom–in progress. I say in progress because there is (and will always be) a lot to learn as a mother. You, dear fellow mom, know this: it is NOT easy. BUT, it is possible and will always be so meaningfully worth it, in shaa ALLAH. I must confess, another important factor that makes it difficult for me in adjusting to this role is this: my lack of training in home work (read: multitasking the chores and what-have-you’s). Conversation with my dear friends had us admitting that we grew up being trained more to pursue a career. Yes, while most women in our culture allowed girls to do most of the chores (if not all), most mothers also excuse their daughters in doing a lot of chores so we can focus more on our studies. And, society (at least, the one in which I grew) had us unconsciously giving less importance to being a full-time mom or housewife. I remember a friend quipping after hearing I intended to give up teaching or emergency psychosocial response once I marry, “so magiging housewife ka na lang (so you’re just going to be a housewife?)?”. He didn’t mean anything bad, really. It was so unconsciously casual. I ended up telling him that yeah, that was my plan; but I also made sure he’d get to correct himself by stating, “hey, it’s not bad. sige ka, so mom mo housewife lang?” With that, he suddenly had a different view of housewives and shared how proud he is of his mom. Are you relating with this? I am reminded of the status of women in Islam–how highly regarded they are. I remember that the beloved Prophet (pbuh) said Jannah lies at the feet of our moms. Ma shaa Allah. SubhanAllah.
Woman. You. Me. They. We.
Sad to say, so much negativity has happened that an international observance of women’s month or women’s day had to be put into place to remind people of our real value. It’s nice to have this kind of month. But, personally, I really hope every woman remembers that everyday is our day–no one should make us think otherwise. Everyday is our day, and we have every right and responsibility to promote what is good and prevent what is evil. What I mean is, let us not allow ourselves and other women to be abused; but if it happens no matter how hard we try, then let us not allow ourselves to give up and give in to our fears. Let’s keep trying, in shaa ALLAH. Everyday is our day, and we don’t need to compare ourselves to or to be defensive against men to make us feel that way; but at the same time, we don’t need to depend on another–a man, for example–to feel it’s our day.
Everyday is our day. Beautifully given. I am a woman–a Muslim woman. Again, why do I keep adding ‘Muslim’?
I am a Muslim woman, and as such, I am empowered much to know that my worth is neither diminished by definitions others try to impose on me nor by my decision to agree to other people’s views or wishes should there be truly nothing wrong with them. As such, I am empowered much to know that my worth is never dependent on the other whom The All-Knowing can, at any time, take away from me. I am a Muslim woman, and as such, I know my worth is reflected on how I make use of everything with which I’ve been blessed, under any circumstance, to serve and to give thanks to The One Who created me.
I am a Muslim woman…and in this often unfair, chaotic and confusing world, my being a Muslim makes that much-needed difference. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal si wal kufri waddalal.
Iqra. It’s an arabic word which means “read” (or “recite”). It’s the first word of the Noble Qur’an that was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) by ALLAH Subhanahu wa ta’ala through the angel Jibreel.
I still have a long way to go in my quest to learn Arabic; hence, I find myself reading the Arabic text, checking the transliteration while listening to its mp3 to check if I got it correctly, and then reflecting on the English translation. Yet I must say, reading and reflecting on HIS Words always makes me realize why the first word is an instruction–“read.” I honestly believe it’s our Creator’s way to make us realize that HE is indeed reaching out to HIS creations.
“Seriously?”, you ask. Yeah, seriously. I know there are times, especially when we are faced with so many trials, people feel like losing hope as they wonder if HE even hears our prayers. We all know praying or supplicating is our way of conversing with HIM. But, then you wonder, in times of despair, is HE even reaching out to us?
HE does listen and HE does reach out. Let me share with you this hadith:
Narrated by Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Prophet (saws) said,
“ALLAH (swt) says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.'” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
HE really does, you know. Look around and within you and you’ll realize that HE really does. But, I know it’s hard to simply take my word for it, and I don’t even advise that you simply take it, so…read. And, don’t just read for the sake of reading. Read and reflect. In shaa Allah, the more you read HIS Words, the more you’ll realize how HE addresses everyone no matter who we are or in what situation we find ourselves.
For the too rational ones who wonder if HE does exist, I find Him conversing with them about His proofs. He talks about the book of the Universe and other phenomena in this world to make us realize that it’s preposterous to merely attribute it all to science. And, interestingly, when HE talks about His signs, HE often ends with “these are for people of understanding (or people with knowledge or people who reflect/know).” It makes me realize, that’s HIM inviting us to use the mental prowess HE’s lovingly given us to reflect, to understand, and to know HIM. Everything points to HIM, yet often, because of our training in this world, it’s easy to end with scientific explanations for certain phenomena or merely say “it hasn’t been discovered yet but scientists are working on that” for those that can’t be explained yet. Admit it or not, that happens a lot. I know that happens because I’ve personally been there. But, let me just say HE uses so many analogies and stories to make it simple for us to understand, too. And, as I’ve experienced in class, it is often through analogies and real stories that students become interested and are able to grasp the topic better. Alhamdulillah.
I also can’t help but think that speaking about the prophets (peace be upon them) and their own experiences in His Book is His way of conversing with those who are starting to lose hope. We are suddenly reminded that whatever it is that we’re going through is nothing compared to what the prophets went through, subhanAllah. It’s so uplifting how HE teaches us what to do in times of trouble–i.e, to remain patient, to persevere, to pray and trust in HIM, and how HE reminds us that trials are not nonsensical but are a natural part of life in this world–i.e, tests of faith for us. Read, and we experience how calming it is to have HIM tell us that when things don’t turn out the way we hope they would, it is simply part of His Perfect Plans for us which are always for the best–i.e, that sometimes what we want is not good for us and what we dislike is actually what would be best for us. Read, and we’ll find HIM reassuring us that there is good to come–i.e, there is ease after every difficulty and there is a reward for us not just in this world but in the hereafter, in shaa Allah. And, if that is not enough to make one remember that even the unspoken prayers in his heart is heard, ALLAH (swt) repeatedly reminds us that He is All-Hearing, All-Seeing, All-Knowing.
As for those who constantly forget that life is filled with tests and that all our actions have corresponding consequences, HE reminds us by repeatedly telling us of the fate of those who came before us and of what is to come after this worldly life–both good and bad. Yes, HE talks of the existence of an afterlife which goes to show how Merciful and how Just our Creator is. And, mind you, HE doesn’t just state that Judgment Day and heaven and hell are to come, HE describes them in ways that will help us relate or visualize to a certain degree, thus, making those who comprehend strive hard for success in the hereafter, in shaa Allah. Not only that, HE makes sure we remember the purpose of our existence and the actions that would lead to either a good or a bad end, subhanAllah. And like a manual, HIS Book tells us how to manage our daily affairs–both intra- and interpersonal, mashaAllah. And, should we be those who’ve engaged so much in the actions that would lead to a bad end, HE tells us to never despair of HIS Mercy–after all, He is Oft-Forgiving and All-Merciful. But of course, HE also makes sure we don’t take that for granted; yes, there is a time limit for everything and everyone. And, surely, there will be a day of Reckoning as HE has repeatedly mentioned.
Think of all the ways HE converses with us through HIS book, which get us reflecting on life around and within us, and our relationship with HIM, subhanALLAH. “Then which of the blessings of your Lord do you both (jinn and men) deny?” (an oft-repeated verse in Surah/Chapter 55 of the Noble Qur’an)
Read and reflect…learn and be guided, in shaa Allah. And, just to make sure that when we read and gain knowledge, we don’t get our egos all inflated in thinking we know enough so we now have the power to guide others (one good trap of Shaytan who, by the way, is performing his role with excellence), HE reminds us of something that we can actually forget as we gain knowledge–that guidance can only come from HIM.
‘makes you pause, doesn’t it? Guidance can only come from HIM. Had HE willed, I wouldn’t be interested in reading His Book at all. Had HE willed, I wouldn’t even be one who believes. And, should HE will it, I could go back to how I was before HIS guidance came. Humbling and terrifying. Humbling that we are suddenly reminded to never look down on anyone who may not grasp things the way we do. And terrifying that HE can change our condition anytime HE pleases that in an instant, we are reminded of that supplication mentioned in His Book that asks HIM to not allow our hearts to deviate once HE has guided us. Goosebumps right there. Subhanallaahi walhamdulillaahi wa la ilaha ilallaahu Allahuakbar wa la hawla wa la quwatta ilah billah.
“Iqra”. Read. And, what were the next words that came after that?
In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists)
Perfect, isn’t it?
Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). (Noble Qur’an 96:1)
There is indeed no better way to start something but by remembering HIM and reminding ourselves to perform all actions with “Bismillah“…making all actions done sincerely for HIS Sake as acts of worship, in shaa Allah.
So, why not start reading in HIS Name?
Like I said, I know it’s hard to simply take my word for it, so…read. It sounds so much like a teacher giving an assignment, but perhaps you can start learning (ok, ‘googling’, if you wish) the terms with which you’re not familiar in this article and the ones you deem most appealing in HIS ways of conversing with us through His Book, in shaa Allah.
Read. Reflect. Reach UP. In shaa Allah.
Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, ash-hadu an la ilaha illa Anta, astaghfiruka wa ‘atubu ‘ilayk.